How to Ask for and Offer Help
Photo credit: Photo Monkey
During uncertain times, we need to communicate with people to stay connected. We should communicate to ask for help. We should also communicate to check in on other people.
But asking for help or offering help can be uncomfortable. Here are a few guidelines of what you can say when you reach out to your loved ones.
How to Ask for Help
We all need help to get through life, so don’t be afraid to ask. You want to avoid guilting someone into helping you. Just be upfront with how you’ve been feeling, and your loved ones will respond with empathy and support.
Don’t say:
I’m sorry to bother you…
I hate to ask this of you…
I’m normally not the type to ask for help…
Say:
I'm having a hard time with self-care. Would you be able to help me work through some things?
I’m struggling with this, and you’re the first person I thought of. Could I get your input when you have time?
I don't feel great right now. Can I give you a call tonight?
How to Offer Help
Offer help in a way that isn’t too heavy or accusatory, and give the person the option to say “no.” You don’t want to come across as nosy or pushy. Your goal is to let the person know that you’re available if and when they need you.
Don’t say:
You look like you’re struggling.
You should let me help you.
Don’t be foolish.
Say:
Is there anything I can do to support you?
How can I help?
I'm here for you if you need anything.
How to Show Support
When someone is confiding in you, avoid sounding judgmental or dismissive of their feelings. You should use phrases that validate their feelings. This will allow them to process their emotions and feel safe in communicating their concerns with you.
Don’t say:
There’s nothing to be stressed about.
You shouldn’t feel that way.
This situation is blown out of proportion.
Say:
It's okay to feel stressed.
It can be frustrating to not have the answers.
We're in this together.
Keep these examples in mind when you reach out to someone. These phrases will help you communicate your good intentions and navigate rough waters a little more easily.
